Temper Tantrums…suck!

What are we supposed to do?  You know that horrible time I am talking about. Full On Temper Tantrum.   Your at the store, and you want to get a remote control car, so you can chase the little monster around the house.  Then you “unknowingly” pass the to baby doll section.  She grabs all the babies she can carry, and runs.  You know your in for it.  So you ditch the toy car and head out, like a destroyer of fun and dreams as you take the dolls away.

Now you did it.  The limp noodle (your kid) falls to the floor, yelling, kicking, screaming… it not like you can reason with this person (at least I haven’t learned how to yet… if you know, tell me… please) , shes only 18 months old.  Here are your options

1. Let her cry it out on the floor.
2. Apologize and admit your wrong doing and giver her all the babies
3. Just look around and say “its not my kid, and run away”
4. Trick her by giving her one of the dolls back, continuing your shopping trip, and taking the doll away right before you check out, only to cause the monster to erupt in anger, then buy the toy, apologize to her for your stupidity and be on your way?

I choose 4.  Sometimes I just cave in because its easier.  I know that this is not the right thing to do… but I’m working on it.  So I decided ask around.  But the people that i asked are OUR parents and grandparents.   The answers I got… well, they were not the answers i was looking for.  Spanking, strap, abandonment, squirted with water… on and on… not my style.

I found lots of good articles online in forums and parenting sites.  So here is what I am going to try on the next set of tantrums

At Home

1. Calmly take the kid somewhere safe, like their room, or crib… as long as it is somewhere safe, where she can be left alone.
2. If she cant be left alone, stay with her, but ignore her… don’t even make eye contact
3. Don’t come back until she has calmed down, and then have a calm talk with her.  Tell her that her behavior is not acceptable, and go over her actions… ” you were kicking and screaming, and throwing things, and that is not good.  Do this so that she knows what she did that was wrong
4. Apparently kids undertand more than we think, so its ok to talk to them like adults…apparently (that’s what the behavior authorities on line say)

This should help the kids to understand and learn from their behavior.  Getting mad, yelling at them, and giving in will just mess them up in the long run, so I guess I can’t do that.

Out and About

1. Get out of the public area if its possible, head to the car and strap her in the car seat if you can.  Just wait it out until she calms down.
2. Have that nice little talk about her behavior again
3. Go back to whatever we were doing

But what if you cant get out of public?

1. On the buss, train, or worse…airplane.   This is really tough… you cant do jack s@#t.  Just hold on for the ride.  Try as hard to ignore the kid as you can.  Whats going to be even harder, is trying to ignore people looking at you… but don’t give in.  Maybe try locking them in the bathroom, or overhead compartment (kidding)… I don’t know.
2. When the kid calms down, have that little talk again.

I will make a report on my findings soon.  Hopefully this works.

Here is one of the articles that I read… the article on tantrums is really good… but the site is some really weird Pagan site or something crazy… good advice though…I think.  http://www.heptune.com/tantrum.html

What do you do when your kid has tantrums…  this is where you go ahead and leave a response below… scroll down.

You can read this on Minit… like facebook for parents… newdadscliffnotes.minti.com

Last night we went out to dinner and the Pink Door with some of my wife’s work friends. Oh, and we took the baby.
I have to admit, i was a little hesitant about taking the baby to a restaurant like this. Kind of like a old cabaret style place, eclectic decorations, dimly lit, and a strange band that sounded like the one playing in the Cantina from Star Wars.

As soon as we arrived at the place i scanned for other babies… there were none. But i did see some high chairs, so they must be somewhat tolerant of babies. Luckily, Marley is a really good baby, and I didn’t think that she would be too much of a distraction for the other patrons. She did a really good job.
But I think that it was in part to our careful preparation.
When taking the baby to a nice restaurant, there are some things that you can to help make the evening better for everyone.
1. Make sure that the baby is well rested, sleepy babies are fussy and hard to keep happy
2. Have some food for them to eat as well. This will keep them feeling like part of the group, and not be ignored
3. Have a Perimeter Place Mat- I made one of these out of vinyl. This is basically a piece of plastic that you can put in front of your baby, partly to keep the table somewhat clean, but mostly to keep everything away from the baby. Waiters don’t usually know how far the baby can reach. This mat, will take the guess work out, and the table clean.
4. Tether everything to the high chair so that when the baby tosses stuff to the ground, it wont get lost.
5. Suction Cup Toys, are great for entertaining the little ones, and will keep the entertained for a whale

What tricks to you have? Leave a comment with your tricks and i will post them to share with the group. I am still a new dad, and i am sure that lots of you have better tricks…share